What Is In A Name?

Last night as we were getting ready to go to bed I was teasing my wife, telling her that there two older terms to refer to one's wife that I could call her accurately.  First, the little woman; after all anyone who knows her, knows my wife is a shorter woman.  Secondly, the old lady; my wife is a few years older than I am after all.  However, I know that using either would mean an older term used to describe husbands coming back at me...sleeping on the couch.